“9/30/2010, 4:59pm EST”
Stephen Colbert goes to town on conservative Justice Antonin Scalia’s ideas about the U.S. Constitution. Are we living in an age where a cable comedian has a greater commitment to formal logic than a Supreme Court Justice? You bet we are.
—Dan
“7/27/2010, 12:04pm EST”
(via reddragons)
The comments in red ain’t perfect, but you get the point. Really, just that “logically impossible” comment isn’t quite true.
“7/20/2010, 12:35am EST”
dashedlines: Arrested Development Action Trailer HD TV
“I’m going to war!”
“7/16/2010, 11:07am EST”
old-school-epiphany : glasscoffin: vegun: ianpaxson: capsuleloft
As this comic points out, the reason why people oppose gay marriage has little to do with “reason” at all. It’s about emotion — an inter-related swirl of envy, insecurity, fear, and a resulting hatred. This is cosmically hilarious, since the first thing that comes to mind for anti-gay bigots when they hear the word “gay” is a so-called “fag” — a limp-wristed, feminine man who isn’t really a “man” at all, who doesn’t do “manly” things like, I don’t know, destroying and killing things just to prove they can. All these “manly” people fearing the “limp-wristed fags” — the humor is all too apparent, and still it’s too sweet for my taste.
There is no good reason to oppose gay marriage. There is no “good-faith debate” here about public policy, where competing sides have comparably plausible or persuasive cases to make. The reality is that the people who oppose gay marriage — who refuse to get out of the way of others’ harmless happinesses and fair treatment under the law — have a psychological problem and should be classified as such.
—Dan
“6/11/2010, 6:16pm EST”
iisabelle: clingtomymouth: followmeunder: blink-169: (via ieatchildren)
The 21st century spam equivalent of Christianity. At least they’re promising something real now — instead of heaven, you can win a PSP!
“5/22/2010, 1:13am EST”
I'll give Glenn Beck this: he's got style. He can even make a paranoid Nazi comparison using poetry:
Ya ever heard the old poem, "First they came for the Jews...?" Well, first they came for the banks, then it was the insurance companies, then it was the car companies...
Glenn! Get a grip! There's a difference! [The Nazis] came for the Jews to kill them! [The U.S. government] came for the banks and the car companies to give them 700 billion dollars! If that's "coming for them," then come for me! Hell, for 700 billion, I'll go to you!
“4/30/2010, 3:31pm EST”
Update: The Discerning Brute picked this up. Check it out :-)
- - - - -
Come for the fun verbal spaghetti, stay for the unintended implications.
The National Milk Producers Federation is appealing to the FDA to require that plant-based milk producers — those who make what is currently known as soy milk, rice milk, and almond milk — be disallowed from calling their products “milk.” They claim that only “mammalian lacteal secretions” should be called “milk.”
In the above video, the female anchor discussing this story verbally… ejaculates… that plant-based milk producers should use the word “jism” instead of “milk.” That’s pretty funny.
What’s even funnier is that mammalian lacteal secretions are no more appetizing than jism. Bodily fluids — yummy! Even better when they don’t come from our own species.
One can only hope that the NMPF continues to be honest about its product by continuing to use the term “mammalian lacteal secretions.” Soy/rice/almond milk producers, you now have your comeback.
—Dan
“4/14/2010, 11:20pm EST”
U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths | The Onion - America's Finest News Source →
seanxvx: iisabelle: clingtomymouth:
“It has come to our attention that, due to the inherent risks and hazards it poses, the American flag is simply unfit for general use,” said Annin & Company president Ronald Burman, who confirmed that the number of flag-related deaths had noticeably spiked since 2003. “I would like to strongly urge all U.S. citizens: If you have an American flag hanging in your home or place of business, please discontinue using it immediately.”
Added Burman, “The last thing we would want is for more innocent men and women around the world to die because of our product.”
Millions of U.S. flag–related injuries and fatalities have been reported over a 230-year period in locations as far flung as Europe, Cuba, Korea, Gettysburg, PA, the Philippines, and Iraq. In addition, the company found that U.S. flag exports to Vietnam during the late 1960s and early 1970s resulted in hundreds of thousands of deaths, a clear sign that there was something seriously wrong with its product.
Despite fears about the flag’s safety—especially when improperly used or manipulated in ways not originally intended—sales continued unabated over the years, potentially putting billions of unsuspecting people in danger.
“At first, we wanted one of our flags in every home in America,” Burman said. “Unfortunately, the practical applications of this product are far outnumbered by the risks it presents. Millions have died needlessly, and when you ask people why, they point to the flag.”
“4/09/2010, 1:12pm EST”
“I’m gonna get a tattoo that says ‘Helvetica’ but am going to get it in Arial. When a woman corrects me on it, I will marry her.”
—Jason Zada (via soupsoup) (via takethecityandrun)
“3/05/2010, 2:24am EST”
(via swisserswatter)
I just like to see kids crying.
“2/25/2010, 5:24pm EST”
A kangaroo, “Killer Willard,” beats the crap out of his “handlers,” seemingly because he is annoyed with them for tugging on the rope around his neck.
But it’s okay, they “know Willard was just acting instinctively.”
Welcome to HERE.am, the official blog of the band HERE. Founded by twins Dan and Matt Mims, HERE executes harrowing, audience-shocking post-rock music and fine discourse.
Read about us. If you like, please sign up to receive occasional HERE updates. For press inquiries, please email Dan or visit our media resource page. For booking, please email Matt.
Paper Magazine says: "Precise percussion, tight guitar... There’s no denying their skill."
Christopher Arnott says: "Intricate songs... 'the running, climbing, swimming, flying' [♫♫] is a staggering style collage encompassing all the activities of its title, unified by tireless drums and guitars."
OurStage says: "From the U2’s of the world right on down to more underground outfits like HERE, artists are making a difference globally and locally through music."
Never leave home without it.
